Que Sera Sera
Baby J. Plays Piano With Her Foot
Since I work during the day, I try to spend as much time as I can with Baby J. in the evenings. After my wife and I give her a bath, dress her in her pajamas, read her a bedtime story and give her a bottle, I'm usually the one who puts her to sleep for the night. When Baby J. was younger, I used to use all of the common methods for getting a baby to sleep: swaddling them, rocking them while they lay on their side, shushing them quietly. Now that she's older, I sing to her. I sing a lot of different songs, especially Beatles songs (I love the Beatles) like "In My Life", "Blackbird", "Across the Universe". I also sing a couple songs I made up. But tonight, I sang to her "Que Sera, Sera".
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
I can't help but think about my baby's future. It's true, "whatever will be, will be." But I can't help but wonder. Will she take after mommy or daddy? Or will she be her own completely different person? I wonder what she'll look like when she's older. I wonder if she'll like school, or if she'll count down the seconds until the closing bell like I used to. I wonder if she'll be a bookworm like her mom and me. I wonder if she'll like sports, if she'll be running everywhere. I wonder if she'll be picked on, if she'll be one of the popular kids, if she'll have best friends forever. I wonder how sad I'll be to see her growing up, if it'll secretly break my heart when she graduates school, when she moves out, when she faces the world without me. I wonder how I'll handle her not being there every morning when I wake up. I wonder how hard it is on all of us to watch our babies grow up.
Before Baby J. was ever born, I always heard people say, "Enjoy this time because they grow up so fast." It's advice I don't think I ever needed. There's not a day goes by that I don't want to be near her, experience every little joy and sadness with her. I think in a way it's like having a time machine and being able to watch ourselves grow up, except this time around, we really appreciate all the little things. We don't take anything for granted like we did the first go around.
D.
