It’s Exhausting…

She Looks Cute Now but Wait Until Tonight

Being a parent. I honestly don't know how my wife does it, since she's with Baby J. from morning to evening every day. I only have the evenings, the occasional night of putting her to bed all by myself (like when my wife is out at an author meeting) or the occasional Saturday or Sunday, when my wife needs a major breather, and I have my daddy daughter day time. Tonight was a particularly difficult night to put Baby J. down. She's teething, and tonight was far by the worst so far. She was cranky ever since 5pm, two hours before her usual bedtime. She didn't want to eat her dinner. She didn't want to play. She didn't want to do anything but cry and be held. I can understand, I remember when my wisdom teeth came in; having something drive itself through your gums is an altogether unpleasant experience, and I can't imagine how much more unpleasant for a baby who can not fully express herself or understand why it is happening.

It took an hour to get her to stay asleep in her crib. She kept waking up crying hysterically. I'd go into her room, pat her gently, until she calmed down. But after no more than 10-15 seconds after I left the room, she would be crying again. I feel terrible at times like that. I know she wants to be picked up. I want to pick her up, but I also know that she won't sleep through the night, if I'm holding her, and neither will I.

Oh well, I'm drained. It's funny because I remember only a few months ago having much, much worse nights. It was much harder to get her to sleep, but I guess I've gotten spoiled by the recent months where putting Baby J. to sleep requires hardly any effort at all, and on nights like this, where it's a trying experience to get her to sleep, I find I'm burnt out and ready for my own nap.

D.