I did go over and have a look at nospank.net, especially at the section on ‘Sexual Abuse’. Below is a quote:

“What we’re talking about, it was not just a little paddling with the hand on a kid’s backside,” said Raymond Smith, a senior U.S. postal inspector who worked on the case. “They’re using paddles, whips, canes and severely brutalizing these very young children, sometimes as young as 4 years old.”

Now, we are talking about a little paddling with the hand. So is the report. Your suggestion that spanking = sexual abuse is disingenuous and a crafty attempt to shut down debate but painting your opposition as molesters. Nothing makes me more furious.

Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled “spanking”,”swatting”,”switching”,”smacking”, “paddling”,or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like “Supernanny” and “Dr. Phil” are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit http://www.nospank.net.

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn’t a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches’ Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus’ Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

I’d add “The odd smack helps more than it hurts (or sometimes, “you’ve got to be cruel to be kind”).

Your examples of when to smack a child are a little trite. I wouldn’t smack my daughter when she helps me cooking and goes to accidentally touch the hotplate (after all, I’d explained what a hotplate is to begin with). Gentle but constant reinforcement leads to understanding as is a much better parenting tool. That first actual touch is an excellent lesson, too.

However as soon as a child is old enough to walk and understand basic instructions, but not yet old enough to understand broader concepts like ‘roads are dangerous’ then I’d argue that, sometimes, smacking is appropriate. Maybe the ’six year old’ rule is a reflection of a child’s developmental stages? Under six reinforces rules, over six represents unnecessary violence?

I’m not a bad Dad. My daughter is an excellent, intelligent, outgoing four year old. I consider her free-range. She loves arts & crafts and books and when she plays with her dolls, I’ve never seen her act out smacking even when one of her dolls is naughty to another doll. Smacking is more a compliance tool (OK, a threat) these days than ever used. I use a variety of parental techniques – but I’ll not rule out smacking young children.

Rules like ’stay close at the shopping centre’ need to be enforced. They might not understand that running off is dangerous but after a few smacks they’ll remember ’staying close doesn’t hurt’. Nothing focuses a child’s attention like a smack.

The perfect, calm, hassle free and time rich parent does not exist. Sure, we’d all love to have the time to sit down and talk to a two year old about why it’s dangerous to run off towards the road. Or the patience to wait for some princess to calm down during a tantrum in the middle of a library, or enough hands to always hold my daughters hands in the mall but sometimes, you’ve just got to get stuff done. A smack does it.