A Tigger, A Drop Claw Machine, and a Baby in One Arm
My wife and I did our Christmas shopping at the same time, that is we shopped for each other's presents in the same store. We split up. I took Baby J. in my cart, and my wife went her way. After bumping into one another a few times and doing our best to avoid seeing what the other got us, Baby J. and I finished our shopping and checked out. My wife was still shopping, so I gave Baby J. a bottle, and still we sat and sat. My wife is a slow shopper.
So past the cash registers, in the store, they have a little arcade section, where they have some video games, some little kid rides and a couple drop claw machines. I thought I'd get on one of the little rides with Baby J. I got change for a dollar but then when I got to the ride, I realized there was no way on Earth I was fitting in it, and I didn't really know how it would go with her being alone in the ride. I didn't need to create a horrible baby accident after all that shopping. So I looked around and I saw the drop claw machines.
The first machine was too expensive. One dollar a try??? That's ridiculous. The second machine had nothing but necklaces. I wasn't really in the mood to win a necklace. The third machine was just right, 50cents a try and plenty of good stuffed animals. I looked in the machine for what was most grabbable. I spotted a bright orange Tigger doll all the way in the back that was on top of everything else. I shoved in my quarters, and with a Baby in one hand and a joystick in the other, I maneuvered the claw to the Tigger. I swatted the Tigger six or seven times with the claw until I felt it was in just the right position. Then I hit the button, the claw dropped down and...
UP CAME THE TIGGER. I shouted, "YES!!!" way too loudly. Baby J. jumped. I'm pretty sure I made a big ass of myself. You have to realize I've played these things like 1000 times in my lifetime, and I've never gotten anything.
So then I steered the claw to the drop area. Hit the button again...
And nothing.
God damn it. The Tigger doll wouldn't drop. So, I hit the glass a couple times. For a moment, I thought I was screwed. But then, thank God, the Tigger fell.
SUCCESS!!!!
50 cents later, one try at the drop claw, and my daughter has a brand new Tigger doll. It's the little things in life that bring us joy.
D.
p.s. I wish I had a picture of the moment of success...
Too much information!
Having a baby means a lot of strangers come up to you and say hello to you and your little one. Some of these strangers don't stop at hello. Today, we went out to lunch while Christmas shopping, and the waitress where we ate came by, said hello, said how cute Baby J. was, told us she has two daughters, and then went on to tell us how her:
- daughters fight all the time
- that they're a couple of brats
- that she can't stand them anymore
- that she has no idea what she's going to do with them
- feels like she's just about given up on her kids
At this point, we don't know what to say. We just kind of sit there awkwardly nodding. What is there to say that? Oh, I'm sorry about your daughters. Or, have you tried putting them up for adoption? Some people just don't know when to stop talking. You're my waitress, not a friend of ours, I don't really think handing us some menus and asking what we'd like for lunch equates enough of a relationship to justify telling us about your parenting woes.
Am I wrong?
D.
hilarious google searches
So once in awhile I check to see what people might have googled that brought them to my blog. Two of my favorites so far:
daughters butt smells
and
why does my teenage daughter have butt hair?
I really wish I could talk to that last person. I want to know more. How bad is your teenage daughter's butt hair problem? Is it so bad she can't just shave it when she shaves her legs? Is she hairy everywhere else or is the hair centralized to her butt? Is this a common problem that I've never known about? Did some of the girls I dated in highschool have butt hair issues?
D.
After reviewing the latest searches, I have another great one:
diapering my wife
Who wants to know more about how to "diaper" his wife? I'm sure there are legitimate reasons for making this search, but why did they bring someone to my site? I have to watch what I write in my blog postings.
Confuzzling Dreams
I had a dream last night that my daughter was a teenager. I was mad at her for spending too much money, and I scolded her. Only to realize that the money she was spending was an investment in her future. Then in the dream, I asked someone, "At what point in your life do you realize that your kids no longer depend on you but that you depend on them?"
Kind of philosophical for a dream.
But then, I had a dream that Gollum from Lord of the Rings was trying to eat Luke Skywalker. Sometimes, I don't think dreams really mean anything. Sometimes, I think they're just weird.
D.
Seasonal Observation
I wish I were a bear. I'd spend all year looking forward to winter; I'd finally get to sleep for weeks at a time. Instead, I'm a human being who dreads winter. It means cold nights, shoveling driveways, and little sunlight.
Every season is more fun when you're a kid. Winter = Snowmen, sledding, hot apple cider. Summer = No School, sports, fun outside. Fall = Jumping into fallen leaves. Spring = Running outside again, watching everything grow.
Now, all seasons kind of blend into one another. As an adult, the only difference between the seasons is what bills you'll pay. It's winter, I'll be paying a lot for my heating bill. It's summer, my a/c will drive up my electric bill. It's spring, time to pay the tax man. It's fall, time for that mortgage reassessment.
D.
