Daddy Daughter Day » Questions

Cursing Around the Little One

D. — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 13:31:18 +0000

Sometimes, I can't help it. I really try, but I slip. I drop something or I smash my foot (because I'm a horrible clutz), and I let out "shit!" or "damn it!" or whatever else I shouldn't be saying in front of a little girl that is quickly learning all the words in my vocabulary. My wife is a teacher; she has run into the occasional student who curses like a sailor. What kid doesn't imitate their parents? They don't know any better. I would feel ashamed of myself if my daughter ever was that way. I know it doesn't matter to some people, but it matters to me.

I think the trick is not cursing ever. Not just when she's in the room, but all the time. Maybe I should get a swear jar or something. Do those help? Every time I curse, I plunk a quarter in the jar. Eventually, I should learn not to do it, right? Old habits die hard, so I'm really going to have to be conscious of this all the time.

The Santa Claus Debate

D. — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:10:10 +0000

Do you know people that say once they have kids or once their kids are older, they won't be telling them about Santa Claus? I know a few. They claim it's lying to your kids. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Come on, seriously? Listen, there's only a short while in your life that you believe in things like magic. Why would you rob your kids of that? Think about it, when you hit probably 10 years old at the latest, you don't believe in Santa anymore, you don't believe in magic, flying reindeer, you don't believe in wizards or elves or magic. That's not a long time in one's life to believe in the impossible, to believe in something fairy-like and wonderful.

Why would you take that away from your kids? So what if it's a big fib? So what if Santa Claus isn't really real? Does it matter? Do any of these people actually resent their parents for telling them that fib? I can't imagine a single one of them, upon discovering that Santa Claus was make believe was angry with their parents. They probably didn't care. The discovery is usually so gradual, that hardly any of us could really mark the occasion upon which we figured it out. I think I kind of gradually came to the conclusion, but I remember keeping the lie going for awhile even after I knew, because I enjoyed the fib enough that I wasn't ready to let it go.

So, if you're a reader and you're one of these people who thinks parents shouldn't "lie" to their kids about Santa, can you tell me your reasoning? You can't act like we're always completely honest with our kids. We can't be. We make things up all the time. "Oh yeah, it won't hurt that much at the dentist" or "it's just a needle, you won't even feel it". We fib all the time about little things. I don't think it's such a big deal to fib about something magical and wonderful.

One Extreme to the Next

D. — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 13:18:19 +0000

My daughter no longer screams when strangers enter the room. She now screams when strangers leave the room. She immediately moved from one extreme to the other. Anytime, anyone she doesn't know comes, says hello and then says goodbye, it's at goodbye that Baby J. goes into a panic. Is it possible to have that much of an attachment to someone after knowing them all of 20 seconds? And where does that kind of immediate panic and fear come from?

Does such a place exist?

D. — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:33:54 +0000

I wish I lived in a country where upon becoming a parent you got five or so years off from work.

Does such a country exist? And if so, how does one become a citizen?

Stop Eating That!!!

D. — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:46:56 +0000

Quick question: why is that babies almost always initially refuse to eat anything you put near their mouths but will eat anything they find randomly on the floor?

Is it just me or does that not go against basic survival instincts?

Too Tired to Blink

D. — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:19:38 +0000

I'm exhausted this morning. My wife and I were stupid, and we stayed up until 1am. After the baby woke up and while my wife was giving her a bottle, I tried to sleep for a couple minutes before I had to get ready for work.

The baby wasn't having that. She got up, grabbed my head, and she kept yelling in my ear, "NA NA NA NA!" which is her equivalent of NO! She really doesn't like it when daddy is trying to get some sleep. I can't wait until she's older, and I can go into her room when she's too tired to get out of bed for school, and I can grab her by the head and yell "NA NA NA NA!"

Is it terrible I want revenge?

Cats Schmats I Can’t Stand Them

D. — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:48:14 +0000

You know how before your baby comes along, you love your pets to death? I mean, they're your babies, right? You coddle them. You take their pictures when they're being cute or stupid. You worry about them. Maybe it sounds cruel, but I can't stand my cats now. They get on my nerves all of the time. It seems like anytime the baby is asleep, that's when they suddenly want to wrestle with each other and snarl at one another while tumbling down the stairs. They sound like a couple of fat wrestlers who have each other pinned to the floor. And every morning when I'm preparing breakfast for the baby, the cats won't leave me alone, crying and crying and crying and begging and begging and begging for food.

What is their problem? I know they still think they're the rulers of the house, but they're not anymore. They need to get over themselves.

Babies: The Documentary

D. — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:24:37 +0000

I must be a sucker for baby stuff, because this movie to be released by Focus Features looks adorable. I've never had real robust machismo or anything, but still should I find this so cute?

too expensive being a parent

D. — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:25:06 +0000

Before we had Baby J., my wife and I were dinks (double income no kids). It was easy getting by. We were able to save up enough money to buy a nice house, a nice car, live in a good neighborhood and have all the amenities. Now that we're parents and my wife stays home with the baby, it isn't enough that we're on a tighter budget, but everything is more expensive now. I'm not just talking about the cost of diapers and formula. My health insurance tripled in cost. The health insurance company refused to cover what it should have for the hospital visits. They constantly try to get out of covering pediatrician visits. Do other people have this problem? And it only keeps getting worse. When Baby J. had bad reflux, we had her on a prescription medicine to ease the pain, and the cost of that kept going up and up and up every time we needed a refill, and the health care company didn't want to cover the cost, because despite the pediatrician saying we should give Baby J. the drug, the health care company knew better and didn't think she should need it. What am I supposed to do? Ignore the pediatrician who has actually seen my daughter and knows her or trust a health care company a thousand miles away that cares more about the bottom line than about parents and their children?

It's not just that either. Taxes have gone up A LOT. My mortgage went up 10% because of taxes. And why have the taxes went up? Because the local school budget is higher this year. But despite it being a higher budget, they just fired a bunch of teachers. Where is all of that extra money going? Well apparently to support the raises of school principals and super intendents who don't need another $20k tacked on to their $250k salary.

On top of all of this, the company I work for scaled back considerably a couple months after Baby J. was born requiring that I get a 5% pay cut. Ug, like I needed that on top of the hospital bills.

The cost of everything keeps going up and up, and we always seem to need more groceries or more clothes or more of something. The pressure really gets to me. I feel like I should be able to enjoy this time with my daughter, not constantly worry about paying the bills. It was really important to me that my baby have her mother with her during these first few years. I think too many problems occur these days with kids who have no parents at home, because they both have to work. My original budget meant we could do so comfortably, but now it's extremely difficult and becoming more and more impossible as time goes by.

I'm so tired of it. And it's starting to make me sick from the worry.

The World According to Baby

D. — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:35:31 +0000

Who or what is that?

I wonder what the world is like for my baby. I wonder how she manages to process all of the new information she receives each day without having a total meltdown. Sometimes, browsing the web for a couple hours and reading the news can make my head hurt, what must it be like for someone who doesn't know language yet? Who hears a few hundred new words every day? Who sees a few hundred new things each hour? Who doesn't know what something will feel like when she touches it, doesn't know how something will smell when it's brought close to her face, doesn't know how a new food will taste, doesn't know what's hot or cold, what's smooth or rough, what's soft or hard?

It's making my head hurt just thinking about it.