Worst Week Ever
This has not been my daughter's week. This has quite possibly been her worst week ever. She was teething for several days. This left her irritable, unwilling to go a minute without being held, unwilling to eat any food, up at all hours crying and crying. Then, she caught a cold. Now, her nose is stuffed. There's mucus everywhere. She threw up this morning, because of the mucus (not that she cared). She can't sleep, because she's having trouble breathing easily through her clogged nostrils. Then, yesterday, while walking, almost running across the floor, she slammed face first into our dining room hutch. She cut her cheek, and now she has a big band-aid on her face.
I hope this is just a precursor to what should be the best week ever, next week, when she has Christmas. I'm crossing my fingers anyway. What more can go wrong, right?
D.
Runny Nose, Teething, Face Wound...WORST WEEK EVER!!!
My Tired Brain Feels Like Mush
Oh the joys of teething. How I have missed thee.
Baby J. started teething again yesterday. She didn't want to be put down. She took forever to take a nap. Then, that night, she woke up every few minutes, bawling. I held her for a long time, hoping that would put her into a deep sleep. It didn't. She tossed and turned in my arms, slammed me in the face with her head, flopped around like a harpooned whale.
But this morning, it isn't all three of us that are tired. No, only Mommy and Daddy are tired. Baby J. looks completely rested. She won't stop running around the house. This isn't fair. I only got 1 hr of sleep last night. My head feels like it's going to cave in. I'm pretty sure my eyeballs turned to jelly around 4am. My face feels numb from being slammed by my baby's bowling ball for a head 200 times. Aching. Tired. Yawning. Am I coming down with somethiong? Is that a scratch in my throat? Maybe I should take a nap.
oh I can't. Because I have those stupid responsibility things like my job. Ug.
D.
Baby Rediscovers Mother’s Breasts, Beats Them Like a Pair of Bongos
My daughter has rediscovered my wife's boobs. My wife stopped breastfeeding when Baby J. was around 9 months old; it had become impossible to keep her still long enough. She didn't like to be held while drinking milk, she likes to be standing up, which works when you have a bottle, not a boob. So that being the case, the baby kind of forgot about the boobs; she wasn't interested in them.
However, recently, it's like she just found them for the first time. She likes to stick her hands right down my wife's shirt and grab her boobs. She likes to grab the nipples. And her absolute favorite thing is just to go to town on the boobs, slapping them with her fists. As you might imagine, my wife doesn't enjoy any of these activities. But we have found it is impossible to explain to a child that doesn't understand most of the English language yet and who herself does not have boobs just how uncomfortable and painful it is to have your nipples twisted and your boobs slapped like they're drums.
Oh well, it's all a phase, right?
D.
Monster Face
My baby has developed only what I can call a "monster face". She scrunches up her face, squints her eyes, and she makes a weird grunting noise. The face is all the more surprising because of her eight teeth, which have all grown to different lengths so far and look rather jagged and terrifying.
She has decided that whenever we are in public and a stranger smiles at her, she will stand up, turn to them suddenly and deliver the monster face. I was giving her a bottle yesterday, when we were out, and every stranger nice enough to give her a smile received a monster face in response. I kept trying to get her to use her normal, pretty smile, but I guess that's out of the question right now.
I kept wondering, do people think there's something wrong with my baby? She looked like she was totally unhinged. I've tried to show her the monster face she does when she's in front of the mirror, but then she isn't too interested in doing it. I've also imitated her doing the monster face, but that only seems to encourage her. I have no idea if she thinks it's a monster face. If she's trying to scare unsuspecting strangers. Or if maybe in her crazy, baby brain, she thinks she's being nice.
D.
A Tigger, A Drop Claw Machine, and a Baby in One Arm
My wife and I did our Christmas shopping at the same time, that is we shopped for each other's presents in the same store. We split up. I took Baby J. in my cart, and my wife went her way. After bumping into one another a few times and doing our best to avoid seeing what the other got us, Baby J. and I finished our shopping and checked out. My wife was still shopping, so I gave Baby J. a bottle, and still we sat and sat. My wife is a slow shopper.
So past the cash registers, in the store, they have a little arcade section, where they have some video games, some little kid rides and a couple drop claw machines. I thought I'd get on one of the little rides with Baby J. I got change for a dollar but then when I got to the ride, I realized there was no way on Earth I was fitting in it, and I didn't really know how it would go with her being alone in the ride. I didn't need to create a horrible baby accident after all that shopping. So I looked around and I saw the drop claw machines.
The first machine was too expensive. One dollar a try??? That's ridiculous. The second machine had nothing but necklaces. I wasn't really in the mood to win a necklace. The third machine was just right, 50cents a try and plenty of good stuffed animals. I looked in the machine for what was most grabbable. I spotted a bright orange Tigger doll all the way in the back that was on top of everything else. I shoved in my quarters, and with a Baby in one hand and a joystick in the other, I maneuvered the claw to the Tigger. I swatted the Tigger six or seven times with the claw until I felt it was in just the right position. Then I hit the button, the claw dropped down and...
UP CAME THE TIGGER. I shouted, "YES!!!" way too loudly. Baby J. jumped. I'm pretty sure I made a big ass of myself. You have to realize I've played these things like 1000 times in my lifetime, and I've never gotten anything.
So then I steered the claw to the drop area. Hit the button again...
And nothing.
God damn it. The Tigger doll wouldn't drop. So, I hit the glass a couple times. For a moment, I thought I was screwed. But then, thank God, the Tigger fell.
SUCCESS!!!!
50 cents later, one try at the drop claw, and my daughter has a brand new Tigger doll. It's the little things in life that bring us joy.
D.
p.s. I wish I had a picture of the moment of success...
