What It Means to Be a Father
I'm estranged from my own father. I haven't spoken to him in more than a decade. I haven't wanted to. There hasn't been a day in those last ten years where I've felt like I was missing out on anything. It's funny looking back on it, because in my opinion, it happened gradually, that is my not wanting to be involved in my father's life. I never felt much of a connection to him. I can count the number of times on one hand I actually called him "dad". "Dad"? It's such a weird thing for me to think of calling him.
Is My Baby Teething?
It can be extremely difficult to tell if your baby is teething. For some babies, the process might be quick and easy. Maybe they'll spend only one night actually teething, while a tooth comes in, only one night where they might be a bit crankier than usual. And then there are some babies that are in agony for days, weeks, and the lack of sleep during this period is enough to drive you insane. Baby J. has largely fallen somewhere in the middle. For some teeth, the process has been quick and easy. For others, such as her first two teeth and now her molars, the process has been long, arduous agony.
Baby’s Teething is a Nightmare
Baby J.'s molars are coming in, and it's torture for her and us. She doesn't sleep well. We hear her tossing and turning in bed all night. She wakes up regularly, screaming. Not crying but actually screaming, like she's being tortured. We try and calm her, soothe her as best we can. We give her medicine to help ease the pain, but it's not helping a great deal. All I do mostly is wait and hope, REALLY HOPE, this won't take much longer.
I keep thinking to myself how painful life can be. Birth wasn't exactly pleasant for my baby or my wife. All the stumbles, all the crashes while learning to walk. And then there's teething. I remember when my wisdom teeth came in. It was agony. I was one of the few people blessed with enough room in their mouth for their wisdom teeth to come in, and when they did, it felt like I was chewing glass for a week. I try not to think of that too much, when I hear Baby J. wake up in the middle of the night screaming. I hate to think of her in that type of pain.
D.
Spankings Make for Aggressive Toddlers
The other day I wrote about a study showing that spanking kids under the age of 6 improved their behavior. I didn't agree with the study. Furthermore, I didn't understand why the study was being done. Personally, I believe spanking is one of those things that is archaic and absolutely unnecessary. Now a different study has shown the complete opposite: that spanking little ones results in children exhibiting aggressive behavior who also "performed worse on measures of thinking abilities." I tend to agree more with this study. It seems logical; if you spank or smack your kids (and I'm not talking to the point of physical abuse but just a smack to keep them in line), why shouldn't your kid make the association that hitting is a good thing? That when your child is in a situation that he does not like and which he would like to modify that the solution is to hit or otherwise act aggressively?
Cursing Around the Little One
Sometimes, I can't help it. I really try, but I slip. I drop something or I smash my foot (because I'm a horrible clutz), and I let out "shit!" or "damn it!" or whatever else I shouldn't be saying in front of a little girl that is quickly learning all the words in my vocabulary. My wife is a teacher; she has run into the occasional student who curses like a sailor. What kid doesn't imitate their parents? They don't know any better. I would feel ashamed of myself if my daughter ever was that way. I know it doesn't matter to some people, but it matters to me.
I think the trick is not cursing ever. Not just when she's in the room, but all the time. Maybe I should get a swear jar or something. Do those help? Every time I curse, I plunk a quarter in the jar. Eventually, I should learn not to do it, right? Old habits die hard, so I'm really going to have to be conscious of this all the time.
D.
