The Santa Claus Debate
Do you know people that say once they have kids or once their kids are older, they won't be telling them about Santa Claus? I know a few. They claim it's lying to your kids. Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Come on, seriously? Listen, there's only a short while in your life that you believe in things like magic. Why would you rob your kids of that? Think about it, when you hit probably 10 years old at the latest, you don't believe in Santa anymore, you don't believe in magic, flying reindeer, you don't believe in wizards or elves or magic. That's not a long time in one's life to believe in the impossible, to believe in something fairy-like and wonderful.
Why would you take that away from your kids? So what if it's a big fib? So what if Santa Claus isn't really real? Does it matter? Do any of these people actually resent their parents for telling them that fib? I can't imagine a single one of them, upon discovering that Santa Claus was make believe was angry with their parents. They probably didn't care. The discovery is usually so gradual, that hardly any of us could really mark the occasion upon which we figured it out. I think I kind of gradually came to the conclusion, but I remember keeping the lie going for awhile even after I knew, because I enjoyed the fib enough that I wasn't ready to let it go.
So, if you're a reader and you're one of these people who thinks parents shouldn't "lie" to their kids about Santa, can you tell me your reasoning? You can't act like we're always completely honest with our kids. We can't be. We make things up all the time. "Oh yeah, it won't hurt that much at the dentist" or "it's just a needle, you won't even feel it". We fib all the time about little things. I don't think it's such a big deal to fib about something magical and wonderful.
D.
Baby Rediscovers Mother’s Breasts, Beats Them Like a Pair of Bongos
My daughter has rediscovered my wife's boobs. My wife stopped breastfeeding when Baby J. was around 9 months old; it had become impossible to keep her still long enough. She didn't like to be held while drinking milk, she likes to be standing up, which works when you have a bottle, not a boob. So that being the case, the baby kind of forgot about the boobs; she wasn't interested in them.
However, recently, it's like she just found them for the first time. She likes to stick her hands right down my wife's shirt and grab her boobs. She likes to grab the nipples. And her absolute favorite thing is just to go to town on the boobs, slapping them with her fists. As you might imagine, my wife doesn't enjoy any of these activities. But we have found it is impossible to explain to a child that doesn't understand most of the English language yet and who herself does not have boobs just how uncomfortable and painful it is to have your nipples twisted and your boobs slapped like they're drums.
Oh well, it's all a phase, right?
D.
Monster Face
My baby has developed only what I can call a "monster face". She scrunches up her face, squints her eyes, and she makes a weird grunting noise. The face is all the more surprising because of her eight teeth, which have all grown to different lengths so far and look rather jagged and terrifying.
She has decided that whenever we are in public and a stranger smiles at her, she will stand up, turn to them suddenly and deliver the monster face. I was giving her a bottle yesterday, when we were out, and every stranger nice enough to give her a smile received a monster face in response. I kept trying to get her to use her normal, pretty smile, but I guess that's out of the question right now.
I kept wondering, do people think there's something wrong with my baby? She looked like she was totally unhinged. I've tried to show her the monster face she does when she's in front of the mirror, but then she isn't too interested in doing it. I've also imitated her doing the monster face, but that only seems to encourage her. I have no idea if she thinks it's a monster face. If she's trying to scare unsuspecting strangers. Or if maybe in her crazy, baby brain, she thinks she's being nice.
D.
A Tigger, A Drop Claw Machine, and a Baby in One Arm
My wife and I did our Christmas shopping at the same time, that is we shopped for each other's presents in the same store. We split up. I took Baby J. in my cart, and my wife went her way. After bumping into one another a few times and doing our best to avoid seeing what the other got us, Baby J. and I finished our shopping and checked out. My wife was still shopping, so I gave Baby J. a bottle, and still we sat and sat. My wife is a slow shopper.
So past the cash registers, in the store, they have a little arcade section, where they have some video games, some little kid rides and a couple drop claw machines. I thought I'd get on one of the little rides with Baby J. I got change for a dollar but then when I got to the ride, I realized there was no way on Earth I was fitting in it, and I didn't really know how it would go with her being alone in the ride. I didn't need to create a horrible baby accident after all that shopping. So I looked around and I saw the drop claw machines.
The first machine was too expensive. One dollar a try??? That's ridiculous. The second machine had nothing but necklaces. I wasn't really in the mood to win a necklace. The third machine was just right, 50cents a try and plenty of good stuffed animals. I looked in the machine for what was most grabbable. I spotted a bright orange Tigger doll all the way in the back that was on top of everything else. I shoved in my quarters, and with a Baby in one hand and a joystick in the other, I maneuvered the claw to the Tigger. I swatted the Tigger six or seven times with the claw until I felt it was in just the right position. Then I hit the button, the claw dropped down and...
UP CAME THE TIGGER. I shouted, "YES!!!" way too loudly. Baby J. jumped. I'm pretty sure I made a big ass of myself. You have to realize I've played these things like 1000 times in my lifetime, and I've never gotten anything.
So then I steered the claw to the drop area. Hit the button again...
And nothing.
God damn it. The Tigger doll wouldn't drop. So, I hit the glass a couple times. For a moment, I thought I was screwed. But then, thank God, the Tigger fell.
SUCCESS!!!!
50 cents later, one try at the drop claw, and my daughter has a brand new Tigger doll. It's the little things in life that bring us joy.
D.
p.s. I wish I had a picture of the moment of success...
Father of the Year
Booster shot today. We have to bring Baby J. over to the doctor in a couple hours. There are few things I enjoy more than holding down my crying, screaming baby while a stranger sticks a sharp needle in her leg and pumps her full of some strange fluids. I feel like father of the year after that.
D.
